2008年7月23日 星期三

《有些心事》@光明日報:最終回

在光明日報的專欄來到最後一期,我寫下這一點點,也算是分手文字。




我們,本該如此分手





光明日報/4人幫‧作者:施宇(媒體人)‧2008.07.20





有些事情,即便你從中收集了無數次的經驗,若然讓你再經歷一遍,你依舊感受得到疼。




好比跌倒;縱使你從經驗裡學會在跌倒時避重就輕的姿勢,然而,就在著地的當下,你難免還是要發出哀號的。





分手和跌倒太相似。




跌倒的剎那竟是感官麻木不仁,直到傷口曝了光,那痛楚才跟著鮮血,在皮肉上渲染擴大開來,一陣ㄧ陣針刺似的。




嚴重時如手握烈焰,簡直是發狂似的疼。




結痂後的傷口,偶爾不慎觸及,仍然隱隱作痛。




所以,分手後最怕雨天,最怕打開櫥櫃看見他睡過的枕頭,更怕聽見某某某不經意地提起他的近況。




忘記了那人,不見得就忘記疼痛。




令人心有餘悸的,不是分手,而是分手後彌留的餘溫,會把人燙傷。




不在乎人家說我是峱種,我承認自己是窩齉廢,有時真的是鐵了心,不想再愛了。不怕再經歷一次分手,只怕分手後的陣痛期比分手或回憶都要命,何必自找麻煩呢?




我常常懷疑那些分手後再聯絡的情侶,情人變成朋友真的那麼容易?今日分手,明日便相約打球?不痛不癢,舉杯慶賀時還能出口成章致感謝詞:我們還是當朋友好一些。




分手後不可能安然無恙,除非愛得不夠深,如中學生收集戀愛經驗,每一次分手都可以譜寫成長篇大論,多年後驀然回首仍可津津樂道,像說著明星們的愛情故事,不免有亂添加戲劇成分的嫌疑。




日本作家屋彰子和林青霞好友合力集結的「永遠的林青霞」一書裡,林青霞承認把 20 年的青春給了同一個男人,最後卻無疾而終,再見亦難成為朋友。




書中不提那男人名字,相信那是林青霞分手後的最痛,因此心有餘悸,最好忘了那個名字,當成沒那一回事,甚至當那人不曾存在,爾後才能漸漸地將關於那人的一切給忘了。




所以,「永遠的林青霞」,連自己的回憶,都是別人寫的。




分手應該這樣,將自己的歷史切割成別人的故事一般,和自己沒有關係。




分手,真的沒有關係了。




12 則留言:

  1. Thanks for writing about my forever legendary idol Lin Ching Hsia. I like her very much because of her beauty, charm and uniqueness. Lin Ching Hsia = Dong Fang Bu Bai. Where can I get this book in KL? Can I get it from KinoXXXXXX?

    Regards, Edward

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  2. dearest Edward,
    Thanks for dropping by.
    I don't work in any oof the book stores in KL so I'm afraid I ain't able to solve your prob.
    U know what? It's ZAMAN VERY MODERN. Pick up ur phone and call the bookstore, search the book title online or simply go to the bookstore.

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  3. 就有朋友不了解为何我不能同前度做回朋友。
    说我太认真了。
    我,我行我素。
    我不想让自己痛苦。

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  4. edward,
    I believe u can easily get the book from Popular or Kino. At least I've seen the book before in local bookstores.

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  5. Wayne,

    I still believe lovers could be friends again. Provided the break-up is not a nasty one. And it takes time.

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  6. Joshua,
    Thank you for telling me that you've seen the book in local bookstore. It gives me an idea of where I can get it. There are endless topics to talk about the legendary Goddess. In fact the Goddess Herself is a living book. Wayne has brought up his brilliant ideas on Her magnificent love stories. Who knows the two couldn't be together because they loved each other too much. When it came to real life, someone has to let go and keep the suffering to the minimum. This is why Dong Fang Bu Bai still exists. She can't face him for the rest of Her life because deep in her heart She clearly knows that whatever decision being made at that of time was meant for good to both of them. Their love stories became legendary thereon. The morale is to grab the one you love now and let him/her go and live happily forever under the big blue sky when time does keep you apart. Agree?

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  7. 分手后痛或不痛是自己的选择。当然要活得像事不关己,对大部分人来说是有点难。
    我不是圣人,但以前受伤太多,令现在的我反而将感情看得透彻。有没有都不强求,一切随缘。爱不是只有一种模式,不符合心中对爱的祈求就不算爱?未必。
    有朋友说我在爱情方面越来越advance,我反而觉得那只不过是我不想过很戏剧性的“悲春伤秋”日子,想在短短的人生里开心的活。而所谓开心,就是活得少一根筋,大智若愚,人反而显得平静。我不敢说我已成道,但至少我已知道太在乎,太执着有时是死路一条。我还在学习着.........

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  8. 我有個男性朋友, 很厲害!結婚時每一個EX GIRL FD(大大話話都有四五個)都到場祝賀! 我問他有什麼秘訣,他回答,因為他每次都是被"飛"那個...哈哈!
    不過, 我覺得分手後可否成為朋友,是在於當中有沒有夾雜著怨和恨。很多情侶分手都鬧得不愉快,情人變成仇人,自然無法再做朋友。
    但畢竟這個曾經是最親密的人,一同經歷好些日子,如果放得下怨恨,能把感情昇華,亦未嚐不可。只不過, 難度高。

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  9. edward,
    u seem to be Lin Qing Xia's hard core fan for many many yrs. In fact, this write up is not dedicated of her but she caome into my mind in a flash while i was writing this article. I'm more familiar with Jolin Tsai, she is the icon of MY AGE. :)
    U know I'm just kidding.

    安仔:
    看來你是情愛達人喔!

    藝術家:
    新娘眼看老公的前女友列陣出席
    不知心頭滋味如何
    你看看
    偉玲戀這麼大排場
    偏偏偉仔的紅粉知己們都沒一個受邀出席
    看來
    我們的阿玲新娘是整場婚宴的操盤手

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  10. ~ The morale is to grab the one you love now and let him/her go and live happily forever under the big blue sky when time does keep you apart. ~

    i like this.

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  11. Wayne,
    When I knew Lin, it was already in late 80s. I have missed Her sparkling life which was well known as Shuang Qin Shuang Lin the time before I was born. No doubt She is an icon of many worshipers of Hers who grew up in 70s and 80s included your icon Jolin Tsai who was too excited to take a photo with her Lady Goddess at first time they met by coincidence two months ago in Taiwan. Seriously speaking, Lin is your icon's icon. We are just Her little fans. There's something called "evergreen" but not "old" in term of age. Lin is unique and not replaceable even in the past, present or future. In order to say so, She must have something outstanding and special within. Lin Qing Xia, bravo!!

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  12. frankly, i dont find Lin is very pretty. But her image n character is healthy.

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