《有些心事》@ 光明日報:不要只因為他

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首先聲明,他是有女朋友的。

(那又如何?他需要其他的女性朋友。)

他趴在越野機車上的狂飆英姿實在威風凜凜,從此你發誓自己有一天也要成為機車飛女;如此結伴同行才登對,多像武俠小說裡的俠客與俠女。

(我沒取笑你,只是想告訴你,任何男人騎上越野機車都變得驃悍,就像人人吃到勁辣都會罵髒話,這類粗獷是普遍客觀現象,你卻主觀認為他值得你崇拜。)

一個大剌剌的男人,平常的工作不是面對冷冰冰的電腦就是硬梆梆的機器,唯獨對待你的時候,他變成溫柔體貼的小綿羊;他輕輕地將你的瀏海撥至耳後,為你戴上安全帽繫上扣帶時,他怕你疼還問這會不會太緊啊?

他將你扶上越野機車,幾乎像是一把抱起你。你的雙手被他拉至前頭,壓在他結實的腹肌上;當機車加速時,你就緊緊地抱著我、挨著我,就會安全了,你記得他是這麼交代的。

你是公主,他是白馬王子,多麼幸福的結局。

(我沒取笑你,只是想告訴你,想太多囉,他只是不希望你人仰馬翻,在馬路摔成鼻青臉腫住院觀察。)

在黑色如夜幕籠罩下的舞廳,他緊緊握住你的小手,牽著你一步一步攀上樓。他若沒有一丁點的喜歡你,怎麼會牽你的手?你的女朋友們也認同他可能真有那麼一丁點地喜歡上你了。

(我沒取笑你,只是想告訴你。拜託!燈光那麼暗,一定要手拉手才不會摔跤或走散。我們在舞廳還緊貼陌生人跳黏巴達呢,女人不要什麼都以為是出於愛的緣故好嗎?)

他讓你與他肩並肩,頭挨著頭,靠在他家的沙發上,一起看電視。他唯一一次走出這個浪漫畫框以外,是在接了一通電話以後。他走去角落,以比蚊子飛過還要細緻的聲音,對電話那頭的人交代他現在的環境與情形。

他一定是覺得心虛,才必須走開去跟女朋友講電話,這加深了你認為他對你是有一丁點意思的想法。

(我沒取笑你,只是想告訴你,大部分的人說起情話都是綿綿的,大男人也會在女朋友面前撒嬌,這難得的表情當然羞於見人,因此,大多數的人電話談情時,都是走得遠遠的。)

(他是女朋友的,但他需要在安穩但沉悶的男女關係之外,找尋一點無傷大雅的越軌行為或安全的道德越矩,你恰巧是他心目中最安分守己的對向,你對他充滿無限遐想卻又不敢越雷池一步,他知道你允許他曖昧,卻不會勾引他鑄下大錯。)

(他就像那個以令人眼花撩亂的假動作,分散了你的注意力然後漂亮地帶球上籃的運動健將,他必須透過別人的差勁來證明自己有多好,他一再花心卻不動心,一再以此說服自己是好男人。)

(他不是一個不敢使壞的循規蹈矩傢伙,他真的是缺乏自信。他以無比完美的假動作,騙了你,也騙了他自己。)

留言

  1. 我也搞不懂why有些人那么爱搞暧昧,syok meh?!

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  2. 先把他喜欢的性别搞清楚吧。

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  3. 比比误会了。
    文中人物搞暧昧,文章却没有搞暧昧。
    你泛指one、you、everybody,你是没有性别之分的。
    妳与您都是后代中国人画蛇添足的结果,中国文字原本没有你或妳的区分,也没有你或您的区分。

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  4. 暧昧的关系最伤人,但也最叫人迷恋。

    你的皮肤问题好多了吧?潜水很久,一直想给你留言鼓励鼓励的,但以前好像都无法留言的,非 member 的关系吧。

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  5. Wayne, I've enjoyed reading your articles for many years and they're damned fucking good. God is always not being fair to ordinary street people like me to be not as good brain wise as yours. I'd better not make any further comments here because I'm afraid I might cause some uneasiness to your viewers. Anyhow, keep it to yourselves and I just wanna to tell you you're a good writer and joker.

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  6. hi kl100

    freedom to speak..so long not 人身攻击.

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  7. Lezley,
    What u have said what I ought to say to KL100. Thanks buddy.

    小莊:
    謝謝關心,每次有人問起,我的皮膚就會由好變壞,不知是心理作用,還是我太迷信。
    在我完全康復以前,我絕口不提,希望你明白。

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  8. Hi Wayne

    No prob.

    My findings say Eczema is a genetical illness, no cure for it. Just that strong immune system may prevent it from outbursting provided the person stays away from anything that could trigger the allergy reaction. Not only the body itself, but the environment and emotion also play their parts.

    In a nut shell, make sure immune system is strong, 要不然一触即发.

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  9. Lezley,
    Tonite i'm gonna attend the Qi Gong Class for the 3rd round. I can be very pantang when it comes to my eczema but Qi Gong really keeps me alive and kicking. I'm not gonna talk about my improvement here but if u r smart, u will already know what's keeping me to have such strong belief in this Qi Gong thing.
    I hear good news knocking on my door. I wish u come outta ur nutshell soon (when you find the right method to deal with ur illness).

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  10. Yeah, I know Qi Gong is very very good. Long long time ago, I have already wanted to learn that if there is a very good Qi Gong Guru.

    I have mentioned my reasons before (need not repeat them here)and will sort it out myself. My colleagues are not interested in learning it, so no chance of tumpang along.

    My sister checked for me from the neighbour. There is Qi Gong lessons nearby my place, Balakong. I'm thinking of give that a try.

    The gem of life is to have great health.

    Cheers :-)

    P/S - Safety is very important, the security in KL area is getting worse. Sometimes, it's really 防不胜防,唉.....

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  11. Lezley,
    As I mentioned b4, it's not just some ORDINARY Qi Gong. I don't go for ordinary things as I've been suffered from Eczema for more than 10yrs.
    I suggest you not to try Qi Gong yang biasa as it may destroy your body system. Stick to the medication u r most comfortable with.
    從你的回答可以看出你的個性,你連治病都需要tumpnag 車子,這表示你的病情還在可以忍受的範圍,不必心急;你連交通這種事情都成問題,表示你可能不夠有毅力,沒有毅力的人最好依賴西藥,因為任何排毒方法或真氣運行法對付濕疹,像我這樣,3 個月以來爆發過無數次,直到這幾天...
    我相信緣分,你跟李少波真氣運行法可能沒有緣分,但沒有關係,濕疹會無端端好起來的,只是,不知道會是什麼時候。只要沒有嚴重到像我這樣想死,帶著濕疹的日子還是過得下去的,很多人就是這樣過了一生,像我的同事,西藥控制得很好。

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  12. Hi Wayne

    Thank you so much for your advice and concern. I also understand the saying "靠人不如靠自己". Yes, when conditions permit, I would do that.

    I used to have serious Eczema. After moving back to KL, I watch out whatever I eat to control the outburst. My family also 炖补气药材 for me to drink, which gradually boosts my immune system.

    It's scary to let the idea of "suiciding" to control one's mind. I think religion can soothe that idea (my personal view).

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